all in good time
The kids started another school year yesterday and I handled it well-ish and then not at all. Where was first day of school that one Target afternoon when they were acting like hyenas? Where was first day of school during that one rainy morning Monopoly game that went south? Where was first day of school when all I wanted to do was sleep but I had a couple kids who needed their Mom to be a mom? Calgon… already?
A mid-westerner, I love a change in seasons. Let me clarify—I love fall, and then spring. Winter and summer depend on their behavior, which often lands them in time out. I see you, and I’m comin’ for ya chunky sweaters and boots. Hang IN.
We’ve weathered a season or two of late and yesterday—nearly eye level with me now—our kiddos and their seemingly shrinking parents walked to school like we’ve been doing for eight years now. That’s a lot of seasons lived. That’s a lot of but, but… we were just here doing this mere months ago and that means the next time is only going to be here that much sooner.
Brave-facing, gearing up for seeing people I haven’t seen since the start of summer, eyes darting for faces familiar, all while willing those eyes to not leak, we made our two kiddos smile through copious pictures (and maybe a hug too many?) You know that person—is she isn’t he?—and I am. I’m a hugger, and they kindly oblige. And my other half? He’s a brave soul to walk that route home with a gal who may or may not blow. Or talk about a lot of feelings.
After traditional first day coffee with a lifer of a friend, I made sure to walk the dog quickly enough to get back in time for pick up. I cruised back down our morning route to see how day one went, and before I knew it they were off with friends. A quick ask for cash and what time to be home and I headed back to check on the hounds. The dogs who were all, “Heyyyyyyy! About that hustled stroll so we could get home for… who? … Wanna try that again? How do ya like us now?”
Just before they’d touched base with Mom ATM and time keeper, I was watching those kindergartners walking out two by two after just a few hours away from Mom and Dad. I know just what that feels like on the waiting sidewalk side to see those faces searching for their parents. I remember the boy child’s first day like it was not eight years ago. I remember little miss’s when my husband encouraged that “only one of you can cry” as we headed in for drop off. I checked the clock only eighthundredandseventythree times between leaving them and pick up those first day ofs, and I’ll never forget the running my way bliss of their faces, those hugs, the download between my two as they made their way home.
Blinkedy, blink, poof!
There’s a lot that people who love you don’t tell you—about a lot of things. Like giving birth. Like dropping your kid off for school. Like getting swallowed up in a house so echo-y.
I went bold and I went outside my zone when selecting eyewear recently. One big roadtrip in, though, and after twelve hours of highway signage, map checking, and snack finding, the frames were a go. Rose gold sold. What better way to end my treatment season than to sport some happily tinted sights on the world? They hid my eyes a good bit yesterday, they softened the contrast from first day to second day, and this afternoon they’re fitting all the better after an adjustment—at the shop, and with my spirit.
Sunshine, fall-ish weather, and stellar customer service are good like that.
So this is me saying to you or you or you that I see you… through my frames, through your transitions, in your now and your come what may. This loving thing isn’t for the faint of heart, I tell ya. Thank goodness we’ve got seasons and spirits and dogs to guide the way.
#OnOn!
”This could be so easy
If you could see you through my eyes
I tell myself not to let it go
Hold on to something so beautiful
This could be so easy
If you could see you through my eyes
I tell myself not to let it go
Hold on to something so beautiful.”
—The Head and the Heart,
…as first heard as I pulled up to the eye shop this afternoon.
‘Cause… the universe.
Full song here